Everything I Let Go & The Things I Refuse To

by Old Gray

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Emo/Screamo from New Hampshire/USA

If you are interested in Old Gray's explanations behind each song, simply click on the individual track titles- they explained the thought process behind the majority of the lyrics.


released December 9, 2012

TAPE - sold out.



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From Würzburg/ in Germany

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Track Name: 359 Pine
Charlie: Ailments become fragments of my imagination; I am encumbered by nothing. Hands in hand with a ghost of your former self, someone I once held away from the torments of situation; no longer am I strong enough- another voice has taken over, controlling, binding, leaving the person I am- fucking helpless, awaiting its next consensus. A face that is not there taunts me, breathing the same air that she held in her lungs, breaking, for it all seems so familiar. I have been lost and faded into this place, waking only to find it still surrounds me, blotting out the pain but with it, the comfort. For I was a being existing but absent of life, selective thoughts showing only bliss. Sifting through tarnished images of a past you were a part of, mind blanketed by memories- the ghost of your former self, someone I once held and time stood still. Time stood still, at least to us. At least to us.
Track Name: Resonance
Cameron: How I wish i could go back to the day where my heart was still working and I still had a brain, where I felt no pain. But that ship has sailed, it's been lost out at sea for too long- it has been just you and me for too long. How I wish you could see how much you mean to me; how I long for your smile, how I long for our home. Most nights I can't sleep; I lie in my bed thinking, "What is left of me?" I lie in my bed reminiscing on past dreams. I'm tired of living while drowning inside. I'm so tired of dying each night.
Track Name: Winter '11
Raphael: Every day is the same charade: weary ghosts frequenting their favorite haunts. We're all tired but no one ever moves.

Cameron: No effort is made until we forget and fade away.

Raphael: I always found it strange how you found comfort when I spoke in foreign tongue. (In Polish) What do you want from me that you cannot say? What do you want from me that I cannot do?

Charlie: And my words collapsed like the lungs you've overused, for I've wasted my best fleeting hopes, but they weren't you. I keep my eyes firmly closed, hoping I won't see your face. But you are everywhere a shadow, and I am so alone. I am so alone.

Raphael: But what are ghosts except memories we can't let go?

Cameron and Raphael: Today I am what I never was: I am truly alone. Tomorrow I'll be what I wish I were today: I won't be afraid anymore.
Track Name: Six Years
[Sound clip from the pilot episode of Freaks & Geeks]

Lindsay: Sam. Did Mom and Dad tell you I was the only one with Grandma when she died?
Sam: No.
Lindsay: Yeah. They went down to the cafeteria to get some coffee. And all the sudden Grandma looked so terrified. I didn't know what to do. She grabbed my hand, told me she didn't want to go. She looked so scared, Sam. I said, Well, you know, can you see God or Heaven or a light or anything?
Sam: What did she say?
Lindsay: No. There's nothing.

[End of sound clip]

Raphael: If I close my eyes for a breath too long, can I ever wake up again, or will i sleep for good? Can you see me in your dreams? Can you see me in your sleep? At times I get so lonely, but I guess you wouldn't know- the person I miss most is you six years ago. And at times I hear you're smiling and I think I understand why I thought you threw away everything you had.

Raphael and Casey: This time next year, will I have the courage to say, "I'm sorry- are you still proud of me?"